


Thinking On The Fly

by virgilsjourney (jenna221b)



Series: Sanders Sides Ficlets [10]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deceit is cruel, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Roman, Lies, Manipulation, One Shot, Protective Patton, Protective Virgil, protective Logan, takes place after Can Lying Be Good?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna221b/pseuds/virgilsjourney
Summary: He is fooled so easily. He often berates himself, thinks that he should have learned to tell the difference, by now, of friend versus foe.But, well. El principe es estupido. He knowsthatis true.





	Thinking On The Fly

He is fooled so easily. He often berates himself, thinks that he should have learned to tell the difference, by now, of friend versus foe.

But, well. El principe es estupido. He knows  _that_ is true.

One golden afternoon, Roman catches Patton’s eye. He misses the tell-tale yellow glint in his pupil. And so, when the suggestion of travelling to the  _stage_  is mentioned, Roman leaps at it. Of course, how perfect- he and Patton share an unbridled enthusiasm for epic adventures, tales where love and all things good always triumph-

But, when the curtain rises, and Roman is faced with an audience of one, Deceit shows his true self, sitting in his seat like a King on his throne.

Roman swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “Oh,” he whispers. “Oh. I see.”

“Greetings, my  _Prince_ ,” Deceit hisses. “Chop chop, we have a lot of work to do.”

“What-” Roman falters, stuck in centre stage. He makes the mistake of looking up, and is temporarily blinded by the lights. “I- I don’t understand-”

Deceit tuts and snaps his fingers. And then, Roman is surrounded by them: Virgil; Logan; Patton, all standing round him in a circle. But... He blinks the glare of the lights out of his vision. They look wrong, all frozen, ghostly versions of themselves.

“Trial run,” Deceit says. “Let’s use these little dummy versions, for now.”

“For- for what?”

“It’s obvious, silly. Go on.” Deceit smirks. “Lie to them.”

“Why?”

The answering laugh of derision sets Roman’s teeth on edge. “Oh, that’s cute. You always mess up, Roman, it’s inevitable. You lie to hide the worst of you. How could they even begin to like the  _real_ you? This is just... damage control.

They run scenarios over and over again. It’s relentless, a new scene happening with every time Deceit snaps his fingers. Each time, Roman can’t stop himself from asking: “Did I do  _good?_ ” Each time, Deceit chuckles and murmurs, “Oh,  _yes_ , definitely.” It’s textbook sarcasm, and part of Roman always knows it’s a lie, but the other can pretend it’s genuine, he has to- he needs-

Roman talks and talks, rambling, and he can tell his improvisation skills are steadily weakening, but he just can’t  _stop_. He wants the security of Logan in the wings; Patton’s warm applause; Virgil planning for the unexpected. But, no. This is his shining, solo moment on stage. He has never felt more alone.

Eventually, when Deceit clicks his fingers, Roman’s voice fails him completely. 

Deceit’s eyes light up. “Oh, dear, Roman, that won’t do at  _all_.”

“Please.” Roman can feel his knees shaking. The lights are too bright, too hot, too much. “I- I don’t feel so good. I think I need- just one break. Please.”

“No breaks in the real world, darling.” Deceit rises from his seat, getting closer and closer to the stage as Roman fights to keep standing. “Now, this time-”

“GET  _AWAY_  FROM HIM.”

Roman thinks it’s a trick, at first. Yes, the scream sounds rather like Logan, but it’s wavering, and he can’t... surely not-

Roman’s eyes widen at the sight. Logan, Patton and Virgil are sprinting down the aisles towards him. Their faces are all set with grim determination, but Logan’s eyes are flashing dangerously behind his glasses. He looks  _murderous_. 

“Didn’t you hear me?” he says, voice cracking with rage. “I said  _get away_ , don’t you  _dare_ lay a finger on him!”

Deceit laughs, an awful, oily sound. “Well, isn’t this precious.” His hand rises threateningly, and Logan’s own hand jerks like a marionette. But, with a grunt of effort, he stops it from clamping over his mouth.

“No,” he says simply, but to Roman it sounds like the most powerful word in the world. “That old trick doesn’t work anymore, remember? Now.” Logan pushes his hand out, palm facing Deceit, and in one move stands in front of Patton and Virgil. “Stay away from my family,” he breathes.

Logan’s hand slashes through the air and Deceit yells. There’s a great bang, and the sound of multiple footsteps running, but Roman can’t make sense of it. He feels his grip on reality fading, as if he’s slipping in and out of awareness. His knees buckle, and slam onto the stage floor.

Finally, there is quiet. Slow footsteps, now, but nothing like Deceit’s- careful. Cautious.

“Kiddo.” Roman blinks hard, and sees Patton reaching up towards him, almost touching the edge of the stage. He wonders why Patton compares  _him_ to knights in fairytales when, really, he is the one being saved. “Oh, Roman, it’s over. It’s over, now.”

“I-” Roman blinks again, and feels the world sway, everything becoming fuzzy around the edges.

He hears a low grunt, and then Roman feels someone jump up on the stage beside him.

“Woah, there.” Virgil. “Easy. I’ve... I’ve got you.” There’s a gentle hand on the back of his neck, guiding him. “Put your head between your knees, okay? That’s it. Alright, now, we’re just gonna focus on one thing. Breathe with me, you’ve got this: in for one... two... three... four...”

Roman breathes, and the world gradually feels more real. He tries to raise his head. “V-Virgil-”

“Shh, I’m here.”

“The-” Roman’s throat burns with tears. “The lights, they were too- I couldn’t- the lights-”

“I know.” There’s the warmth and softness of Virgil’s hoodie surrounding him, and it takes a moment for Roman to realise that Virgil is actually hugging him. “I know, I know, I’m- I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. Keep breathing, Roman, keep it up, you’re doing so good-”

“I-I’m not,” Roman chokes. His chest trembles with sobs, and Virgil pulls him closer still. “I’m not good, I’ve  _never_  been good, I, I, I-”

“Shh, shh, shh. Oh, god, Roman, that’s not true.” Virgil raises his voice. “Patton? Can you steady- yeah, like that.”

Roman is pulled to his feet, Virgil and Patton holding him up on either side. He looks up and sees Logan in front of him, face pinched with worry. 

“We’re getting you out of here,” Logan says.

A blur of colour, and Roman’s being lowered onto his bed. It feels strange, not to hear the echo of the theatre.

“I can-” He reaches out, and his hand finds Virgil’s shoulder. “I mean...  _can_  I rest?”

He hears Virgil swear, but he somehow knows it’s not directed towards him. 

“Roman.” Now, Patton’s voice is trembling. “You don’t need to ask  _permission_.”

There’s a weight on his bed- someone sitting down. Logan. 

“You’re worried that...  _he_  is right. That our concern is faked, that we merely pretend to care.”

Roman doesn’t have the energy to jokingly say, “Falsehood.” Because, of course, this is what Logan excels at: clarity, stating facts.

“Deceit  _lies_ ,” Logan continues. “I’m aware you already know this. But, I’m also aware of how... difficult it is to... contradict him. So, listen to me, please.” Logan leans forward. “May I-?”

He takes Roman’s hand but, instead of just holding it like Roman expects, he guides it towards his wrist. “You must know I’m a horrendous actor. I cannot fake worry, I can only... express it.” Logan places Roman’s fingers on his wrist. Roman jolts in surprise at feeling his pulse: rapid, racing. Genuine fear.  _Real_.

Logan gives a shaky smile. There’s another flash in his eyes- but not fury. Roman realises it’s tears. “My pulse rate has been high since... you went missing. Conclusion: I  _care_.”

“We all do,” Patton adds, wiping away Roman’s tears with his thumb.

There’s a sigh from above as Virgil wraps his arms around him again. “We... you’ve got to know... we _love_  you, Roman. Mistakes and all.”

Finally, Roman starts to believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing process: scream about the perfection of the new video. Listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VKu6Q-B4ls) on repeat for Roman @ Deceit vibes. Scream some more ;) <3


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